Middle Age is a Myth - Don't Buy Into It

Recently I ran into a man I worked with several years ago and the first thing he said after "hello" was "Barbara, aren't you ever going to get old? I assured him I didn't have time to get old and we both laughed. He had aged considerably since I last saw him and to make matters worse, he had a face full of scruffy vegetation that hid lines and wrinkles. But the attempted cover-up made him look even older. Beards do that, you know. :-)

I know I can't stop the passage of time but I've learned that "oldness" is a choice. It's a fact: The lifespan has increased by 27 years in the past century. Not only are people living longer, they are staying healthier longer.

In spite of that, we still label age 40 as "middle age" and 65 is "elderly." Okay, okay, some individuals at 40 are "old" and some at 65 are elderly, but are you? Is that how you perceive or describe yourself? Probably not.

The mindset of our contemporary senior culture cheats too many older people out of realizing their full potential, and it needs to stop. We need a revolution of the magnitude of the civil rights movement to wake us up about the new reality of aging.

An individual at age 65 with a fire still ablaze in his or her belly often has to endure the "elderly" stigma that can stop goals and aspirations dead in their tracks. The question, "why would you want to do that at your age" has put a damper on many dreams. Few people have the courage to say, "The heck with the elderly stuff, I am who I am and I will do what I want to do and know I can do, and tradition is not going to stand in my way."

Promise yourself this: If you are 40 to 50, you will stop thinking of yourself as "middle aged", "old" or "elderly." You need to adopt l the "Harkness Model" taken from "Don't Stop the Career Clock" by Dr. Helen Harkness. I have it committed to memory and suggest you do the same:

Young adulthood: 20-40

First midlife: 40-60

Second midlife: 60-80

Young-old: 80-90

Elderly: 90 and above

Old-old: 2-3 years to live

It's extremely powerful when you can internalize the reality that you are not nearly as old and decrepit as conventional wisdom says you are. Trust me - at my age, 78, I know I am not elderly by any stretch of anyone's imagination. I'm reveling in my second midlife, thanks to the wisdom inherent in the Harnkess Model. Once you internalize the Model and apply it, you will see that it makes a huge difference not only in how you live, but in how others see and respond to you. It's liberating when you realize that others perceive you, not as a person at a particular stage of life, but as engagingly ageless.

Barbara Morris, R.Ph. is a pharmacist, author of "Put Old on Hold" and a recognized authority on health and anti-aging strategies. Sign up for her monthly Put Old on Hold Newsletter at http://www.PutOldonHold.com and receive her complimentary ebook, "Thirteen Diva Tested Tips for Fabulous Skin." Her expertise is cited in Art Linkletter and Mark Victor Hansen's new book, "How to Make the Rest of Your Life the Best of Your Life."